


If I just let go, I'd be free

by Snakenamedworm



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Lexa, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Blood Drinking, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes Friendship, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Heda Lexa, Love, Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, The 100 Femslash, Torture, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Violence, War, Wolf Pack, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-12-06 03:05:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11591628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snakenamedworm/pseuds/Snakenamedworm
Summary: Clarke and Lexa were a young vampire and wolf who were once in love. It's never really that simple though is it ? So enter one very eventful day that changed everything and skip ten years later.Clarke now (Rightful leader of vampires) wants Lexa dead.Lexa also (Alpha of the wolves) wants Clarke dead.Throw in a now seemingly emotionally destroyed Clarke. A betrayed and angry Lexa and everything else that could make it worse I.EMountain men. War. Lies and deceit. Betrayal. Corruption. Torture. A protective Raven. A jealous Bellamy. Loss of memories. The want for revenge. Hatred. Hurt.This Fic is very much Angst based and also a slow burn but bear with and everything will make sense eventually I promise.Clexa is the main pairing and it will be Clexa endgame.Octaven will also be a pairing.Please note: Raven and Clarke have a unique bond and the fic will feature this a lot,  also there will be a one off sex scene between them.Feel free to comment and I will always reply ASAP :)Also any Lexaven fans feel free to click on over to my other half's fanfic called Time Traveller, her user name is insertanusername.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys this is my first fic so bear with me for mistakes.  
> This story will be slow start off but I like to build up some emotions.  
> Will be worth it once the story kicks in though.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa were a young vampire and wolf who were once in love. It's never really that simple though is it ? So enter one very eventful day that changed everything and skip ten years later.
> 
> Clarke now (Rightful leader of vampires) wants Lexa dead.
> 
> Lexa also (Alpha of the wolves) wants Clarke dead.
> 
> Throw in a now seemingly emotionally destroyed Clarke. A betrayed and angry Lexa and everything else that could make it worse I.E  
> Mountain men. War. Lies and deceit. Betrayal. Corruption. Torture. A protective Raven. A jealous Bellamy. Loss of memories. The want for revenge. Hatred. Hurt.
> 
> This Fic is very much Angst based and also a slow burn but bear with and everything will make sense eventually I promise.
> 
> Clexa is the main pairing and it will be Clexa endgame.
> 
> Octaven will also be a pairing.
> 
> Please note: Raven and Clarke have a unique bond and the fic will feature this a lot, also there will be a one off sex scene between them.
> 
> Feel free to comment and I will always reply ASAP :)
> 
> Also any Lexaven fans feel free to click on over to my other half's fanfic called Time Traveller, her user name is insertanusername.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys this is my first fic so bear with me for mistakes.
> 
> (I am taking feedback and going back to edit chapters for mistakes and to improve them though) 
> 
> This story will be slow start off but I like to build up some emotions.
> 
> Will be worth it once the story kicks in though.
> 
> Hope you enjoy and feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think :)

Clarke stands in front of the window, her hands resting on the stone ledge that separates her from the drop that would follow should she lean too far forward. Not that the thought of plummeting down said drop scared her, in fact she had thought many times of what it would be like to step off and free fall till she hit the ground below. Surely this would finally bring out some source of feeling from within her?

Surely should she dive head first - anticipating her own death as she watched the concrete below her become so close she'd be able to reach out and touch it for a mere second before everything ended. Surely this would entice something from within her.

It doesn’t matter how many times she thinks of the word surely when she has these thoughts. She already knows the answer. She wouldn't feel a thing. In fact, she would gladly welcome the feeling of her head smashing into the solid surface, her skin splitting before blood gushes from the gaping wound as her skull shatters. Anything was more than what she had felt for a long time. 

Nothing.

She looks down at the cracks on the ledge that had slowly made themselves known over the years, tearing up the once perfectly architected building that was constructed by her ancestors many years ago. Sure, it was still more than strong enough to withstand a few more hundred years but just like her it had taken its share of events to cause a more unstable and rigid structure. 

Her eyes drift up from the windowsill to look further beyond the walls outside, the walls creating a barrier between one world and another. It’s been so long since she’s been outside her room let alone the walls, she’s not forced or held captive behind them, but she’s no longer the person she used to be. She knows this - yet there’s nothing left in her to do anything about it.

So maybe she is held captive. But by no one other than her own mind and self.

Her gaze and thoughts turn to the walls of the room in which she stood, remembering a time they were once always lit so brightly. Fir burned in each of the torches that littered the stone walls. The room used to feel and look so warm, thick with warm air as shadows danced around the room caused by the breeze from the window as the flames flickered.

They haven't been lit for a long time now though and instead of being surrounded by the orange, glowing walls, there’s no longer nothing but dark miserable cold stone walls. It suits her just fine now. Just like the old, rigid walls that were slowly decayed a little more each day, Clarke felt like everything she was had decayed with it. It did not matter though, nothing did anymore. It hadn't since the day everything changed. 

The day her mother and father were killed. 

Her parents were the most powerful leaders the vampire race had ever seen. With every pure vampire blood line that was passed down from one generation to the next, a vampire would be born more powerful than the generation before. The Griffins blood line had been the longest running blood line of all vampires.

So yes this meant Clarke was even more powerful than her parents were. But she wasn't anymore. Not now, she’s merely a shell of what was once a powerful, promising and mighty vampire who was supposed to take over her parents leadership.

With her parents having been the most powerful they were loved and deeply respected by all others. All answered to them but never out of fear. Only out of respect. Clarke knows she’d have the same respect from their people should she lead them too.

She can't though. Since that day, she’d lost everything and in the process lost herself.

She has no fight in her anymore, nothing that once ran through her blood and came so natural to her was there anymore. She had been drained of everything. 

She paused as a powerful howl erupted through the air, the same howl she heard every night. It haunted her. Her fists clench into tight balls, Knuckles turning white as her hands began to shake. She may not have much left in her but that howl, no matter how many times she hears it, it always sends something through her. Anger? sadness? weakness? No, it was none.

Maybe it should have been a mixture of all 3 but she was no longer capable of feeling anything anymore. It causes her fists to ball up yes, but other than that there was nothing. Just a thought of wanting to feel something that pulled at her, but nothing ever followed through with it. So this is why her fists were already now relaxing back to where they were, until tomorrow when she would hear it again.

Just like she had heard it every night not long after her parents were taken 10 years ago. 

"One day, I will kill you" she promises into the empty night sky. 

"Is ten years not a long enough time to of waited already?". Clarke makes no effort to turn around and look at the woman she knows will be giving her an angry look.

"Maybe I am just waiting for the right time" Clarke replies void of any sort of emotion. I mean she is, isn't she? No, truth is she has no idea what she’s waiting for. 

"What, you mean when she decides to come back and kill more of those close to you. Were your parents not enough? Does their death mean anything to you?" she growls.

Raven isn't really angry at Clarke, she’s trying to push Clarke. She had been for years. Always pushing her to try and gain any reaction back. Trying to piss her off in hope of unearthing the powerful woman she knew was still in there somewhere. She wanted her friend back and Raven Reyes both loved and knew exactly how to piss people off, it was a win win. But as usual, nothing came. 

Raven should have been used to this by now, but she still felt her anger begin to bubble from within her. OK so maybe she was pissed off. Ten years had been far too long now. How many more would it take? No, she wouldn't have it. Another 10 years would not go by watching her friend this way. She won't allow it. So, she pushes further. 

"How can you stand there and say nothing? How is it the people you were supposed to lead have been fighting this on-going war for ten years to avenge your parents, and you, you stand there in front of you damn window every fucking night like you have no vengeance of your own to fulfil. No loyalty." Raven steps closer to Clarke hoping this will at least get her friend to look at her. But it doesn't.

"I have fought to honour your family, to honour you, every fucking day. Every night I come here to you, I wait Clarke. I have waited for so long for you to come back, and you give me nothing. Do you really not care about anything?" She pauses, and her voice softens. "Would you even care if I never waked back through those gates again?" 

Clarke says nothing. She once again feels the nagging feeling of wanting to feel but just like every other day that's all it is. So, she keeps quiet and continues looking out into the forest of endless trees. The same trees she’s seen thousands of endless nights. 

Raven feels a growl escape her throat. How can she not even say she would feel something over losing her? In fact, she knows why, she knows this is not to be taken personal. Clarke had after all been this way since her parents, but that didn't stop the anger and swirl of emotions that erupted within her. She was the closest thing Raven had ever had to her, she loved her, and she had spent far too long missing her. She may not have loved her in sense of wanting to be with the blonde, but she still loved her more than she had anyone. 

Clarke had been the one who had given Raven her immortality and given her a new meaning of life. She saved her and then she had trained her and made her the vampire she was today. Raven had grown to hold a special bond and love for her sire, just like any two vampires who had sired or been sired held for each other.

So watching her dwindle to nothing had hurt Raven in deeper ways than others. She needed Clarke to say she cared that she still felt that bond between them both still too.

She finds herself standing right next to the blonde before she even realised she had begun to move. 

"Look at me dammit!" Her words come out as a half shout, half plead as she takes Clarke's arm and spins her round to face her. Clarke doesn’t resist the action and does as Raven asks. She lifts her eyes slightly to look Raven in the eyes.

Raven feels a blanket of sadness wrap around her as she looks into the dull, grey eyes. They used to be so blue and full of life. Her voice softens again as she is taken aback by another wave of sadness that comes over her "Would losing me matter to you?". 

Clarke can't answer. She wants too, she wants to answer the woman who was so desperate in front of her. But what can she say? she felt nothing. Although she felt nothing though it did not mean she wanted to hurt the brunette in front of her. But nor did she care to lie.

Instead she calmly moves her arm from Ravens grasp and turns back to face the window, once again focusing on nothing she had not seen before. 

Raven hisses, her eyes dulling ever so slightly. She turns on her heels, storming out the door. She finds herself shoulder barging straight into another. She doesn't need to look at their face to know who it is. She can smell them, if she wasn't so wrapped up in Clarke a few moments ago she would have smelled him coming before. 

"What's going on here? " He asks sternly.

She knows too well he would have caught some of their conversation on his way, vampires hearing being a lot better than that of a humans.

But of course he asks anyway for what she is sure only to piss her off. 

Raven looks behind her shoulder to see Clarke still unfazed looking out the window before looking back at him.

"Nothing, nothing is going on" She replies, annoyed that her voice tremors ever so slightly. 

She expects him to demand more. But instead he simply nods. "Go watch the walls with the others"

He's no longer looking at her, he's looking past her and through to Clarke. Raven holds back a growl, she knew he wanted Clarke. He had for years. He always wreaked of lust and had a stench of want that always lingered around him when he was near Clarke.

Even if Clarke did have it in her to want him in return Raven would never allow it. He may be their leader, but she did not trust him. She had always trusted her instincts, Clarke had taught her too, and he always smelt and just simply felt wrong. 

"Yes Sir" She nods and dips her head just low enough that it could be acknowledged. She will never fully bow to him. He was never supposed to be their leader. It was supposed to be Clarke, everything about Bellamy was wrong.

When a vampire’s blood line had been going for so long they would come to have the ability to emit feelings that would influence those around them. It is only at this stage any vampire can be considered to lead. The Griffins had always radiated a graceful and powerful yet respectful influence. Even when you did not mean to bow you would find yourself to your knees in respect.

But Bellamy had nothing but darkness, his power came from those who followed him, be it from fear, loyalty or just plain ignorance.

Bowing did not come to so effortlessly towards him as it did the Griffins because of this. There was no respect that came off him to influence others. She even still had the urge to bow when in the presence of Clarke, but it was weak enough to resist. What would even be the point to give into the urge anyway. Clarke was gone. 

//

Bellamy watched Raven go feeling the anger in the air disperse as she did so. He did not like the way raven would always come to Clarke but what reason did he really have to put a stop to it. It's not like she would get through to her anyway, she was too far gone. 

"I brought you something to keep your strength up" He reaches over and takes Clarke's hand placing a bag of blood into her palm "You know the drill"

He smiles knowing he will not get one in return, but it did not matter. Being near Clarke was something he looked forward to every night. Even if it was to ensure she drank. 

Clarke knowing he wouldn't leave until she had drank picked up the bag and blindly brought it to her mouth. A sigh passed her lips as she brought out her razor-sharp fangs piercing the bag and draining the contents dry. Even blood didn't seem to give her the same euphoric feeling it used to. 

She placed the empty bag into Bellamy's hand and as usual he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Goodnight Clarke, I will see you tomorrow"

With that he removed his hand and turned about to walk out till he was stopped in his tracks. 

Another Howl filled the air. It echoed through his ears, he could hear the sadness that behind it causing him to smirk, satisfied with this.

"One-day Clarke we will get her, I will get her for you. I will put that Bitches head on a spike and display it on the grounds in front of your window, so you can finally look out that window and see what you deserve. Revenge". 

He turned to walk away again.

"I" Came a voice from behind him. "I will get my revenge Bellamy, I will avenge my parents" A pause follows. "I will kill Lexa" 

Another satisfied grin appears on his face. He did not say anymore. He was more than happy to end the night on those words having left Clarke's lips. 

Once Clarke had finished her sentence she locks her eyes in the direction of the howls. It always came from the same place. On a mountain out to the right. The mountain was close enough to see but not close enough to see the Commander and Heda of all wolves who was currently atop it. She wanted to break out of whatever this was. She wanted to feel something, why couldn't she? 

She doesn't think she will ever know. All she does know is one day she wants the psychological shackles that bound her and her emotions to break. So she can find it in her to do just what she had said. To Kill Lexa. 

// 

She weaves between the trees at speeds that to the human eye are too fast to be anything more than a black blur. She has run this way every night. For that reason, she can weave these trees with her eyes closed and get to where she wants to be without so much as a scratch. But she doesn't close them. She keeps them open, a determination showing in her forest green eyes. 

She needs to get there and soon, she can feel the emotions simmering inside her. The urge to howl was inflating her throat and she was close to bursting, but she can't. Not here she's too close to the pack, they can't hear the pain that will surely fill the air for miles in all directions. 

Her paws effortlessly place themselves one in front of the other as the calm air rustles through her thick fur, the faster she runs the bigger the breeze she picks up. She looks ahead to see she is nearly there, not too much longer. She swallows down the howl that has again circulating in the back of her throat.

She pushes her legs faster to gain the distance she so desperately needs. Every night this happens, she will well up with emotions too great for her to contain. At first, she would howl openly and freely in front of her pack but as time went on she knew more was expected of her. 

She needed to lead and be strong, so here she found herself, fleeing to the same spot she had been for so long to release the feelings that nor her human or wolf form could contain. 

There. She sees the bottom of the mountain and pushes her legs to go faster as she begins to ascend the mountain. Her body far to use to this trip to feel any sort of burn or tiredness, it still doesn't stop her from pushing herself further.

Her wet nose begins to pick up the scent that she knows draws her to this exact spot.

As she gets closer to the top of the mountain the smell hits her nostrils further. Finally, she can see it. The castle that houses the very people she is at war with.

She's close enough for her heightened wolf scent to pick up the smell of the creatures she has come to hate. She's too far to be seen or smelt by them though, even with their sharp eyesight and sense of smell, nor however can she see them either from this distance. But her wolf like snout was much more sensitive to that of a vampire’s nose so she could smell them clearly. She closes her eyes lifting her nose in the air. 

She's searching. Searching for the smell of one in particular. The one who once had her heart and whose heart she once had, at least she thought she did. It was nothing but a lie, a lie in order to get closer to her family. 

Her eyes snap open and a whimper escapes her throat as she catches hold of the smell, she sifts out the rest and concentrates on the weak smell that she knows belongs to the one who broke her heart and betrayed her. The smell has been getting weaker as time has gone on, she did not know why or what it meant. 

She feels her throat begin to vibrate as anger stirs up again, anger in herself as well as the blonde, anger from the fact that she still finds herself drawn to this smell. It's harder for her kind though. They only ever truly choose to bond with one person, and regardless of whether that bond has been carried out or not it can take a long time for a wolf to move on to another.

For this reason she pined for the smell. But she hated her, hated what she had done to her. She loved her and all she got in return was betrayal and heartache. She let a deep growl escape through her teeth as the anger seethed deepened through her. When the time came she would make sure she was ready. After all she was the Alpha of all wolves. She had been since her parents (the previous Alpha and Omega) were killed. 

So she would be ready to kill the woman who had broken her and killed them, because she was Heda and She would kill Clarke Griffin. 

With that though the black wolf filled her lungs with air and raised her head to the sky belting out a pain staking howl that travels across the mountains and forest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is based on going back to the day everything changed between Lexa and Clarke. Hope you enjoy :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note guys I have edited this chapter. 
> 
> No story plot has been changed. 
> 
> Just the spacing and I've added more detail.

Chapter 2

10 years ago

With a big smile on her face she walks through the strong, sturdy Iron gates that lead to the home that housed the vampire race. The place never ceased to amaze her. 

She loved home too, but here she loved more. One reason being the garden. It held hundreds of beautiful and colourful flowers and plants. They were tended to a lot by the Griffins who liked to make the grounds always feel welcoming and homely for the people who live here and those who visited. 

She often spends her time here with Clarke, helping her to water them and pick out any weeds that began to grow. It always makes her happy to see them growing and blooming healthily, not that she needed any other reason to be happy today. 

It's been two weeks since she had seen the woman she loved. She smiles. That's right, she loves this woman and today she will finally tell her. 

The thought causes her smile to pull further at her lips - because let's be honest, this woman is the real reason she loves here more than home. Her wolf-like pearly white canines peak out over the side of her lips as her smile reaches further up her face. 

In human form she usually has he canines retracted. However, when seeing Clarke she makes a point to draw them out - because her woman loves them.

she tells Lexa often that they make her look 'Like a little cute innocent baby faced cub'. 

She giggles at this memory. 

She is far from an innocent little cub and they are both all too aware of this. In fact, she's quite the opposite and capable of ripping the throat out of an enemy in seconds should she need to. 

Clarke continues to say it anyway, but Lexa knows it’s because she enjoys the deadly stare Lexa throws at her in return. 

However, instead of cowering over the stare and falling to her knees, grovelling her apologies. Clarke instead smiles before leaning in and kissing Lexa's nose. 

She also knows that Clarke knows Lexa secretly loves the endearing kiss and makes a mental note to frown harder in future. 

Nose kisses aside though Lexa really was deadly she just had a soft spot for the blonde that was all. It was that simple. 

Her parents were already here and no doubt in the main hall along with Mr and Mrs Griffin. Peace had been among the Vampires and wolves since before she was born. 

Her parents along with the Griffins had ended the war and made peace among each other. A moment in history she would be eternally grateful to all of them for, for this had allowed her to meet the woman who was at this point undoubtedly forever imprinted in the wolfs heart.

Lexa shakes her head to break her train of thoughts, she needs to get moving. She's already late but she had not wanted to turn up empty handed so she had left her parents 3 hours of the journey in to make a detour.

// 

**1 hour earlier**

Her well-built and powerful wolf frame carries her up the mountain - only coming to a stop when she reaches the top. Here she is met with what she had already decided would be worth a little time less with her blue eyed blonde for.

Her form starts to shrink, her silky fur replaced with smooth tanned skin as she shifts to her human form. The red sash she wears now draping over her smaller frame, covering her naked body beneath it.

A chilled gust of air passes, creeping its way beneath the material as it does so. Her eye close as the air causes the brunette a feeling of relief as it cools her bare skin. It's the same relief she imagines most get when taking off heavy clothing after a long day.

Though mostly being in wolf form provides more advantages than not, being suffocated under capes of fur when running for long periods in warm weather is not one. 

She walks over to the base of the tree that is nearly completely consumed with Jade vine.

She knows the vine to be very rare, this being the only place she had ever seen it exist and grow. It is beautiful. 

The turquoise plant had wrapped its way around nearly the entire tree over the years. At first glance it no longer even looked like a tree, just one giant, breath-taking plant.

Today, she was here to take some of the plant for herself. She wanted it to give to the woman who had captivated her from the moment they had met. 

She's sure the tree will welcome her pickings though, freeing it if even just a little of the thing that was surely suffocating it. Lexa knew how it felt. She couldn't imagine being under her fur for so long with no way to breath beneath it. 

She can't help but feel sorry for it. When anyone comes into view of it, they will only likely see the beauty that is provided by the plant to the eye. They will not give a thought to what lies, slowly withering and dying beneath it. Poor tree.

She walks over and lowers to one knee before pulling her knife out the bag she has harnessed to her. The bag is nothing fancy, just rags sewn together. There's no point in anything more time consuming as she will often rip or lose bags on her Journeys. 

It's hard not to when she spends so much of her time as a wolf running 

She gives the knife a fancy roll through her fingers and over her knuckles before taking hold of it in her palm. She positions the knife over the vine and goes to cut into it. 

Another wave of guilt for the tree washes over her causing her to stretch up on her tiptoes, purposely placing the knife as high as she can and proceeding to slice through the vine. 

Satisfied with her gift and how there is now a big enough gap for some sunlight to reach the tree, she places her knife away. "Sorry it's not much" she apologises. 

She unhooks the sash from her neck and takes it off revealing a toned, muscular body beneath it.

Spreading the robe out over the floor, she places the vine on top of it, bringing the four corners together creating a sort of bag for her to carry the plant in. 

She gives herself a few seconds to savour the feel of wind sweeping across her skin. Her toned muscles on her arm shift slightly as she stretches her fingers out to feel the air brush between them.

The relieving sensation is quickly replaced with a different sort of feeling as the wolf again takes over and the air begins to rustle its way between her fur instead. 

Due to carrying her gift, Lexa knows for the next fifty minutes she won't be able to express her usual excited howls as she nears the castle. 

Lexa lowers her hind legs till she is sat down. Her thin lips purse together and a mighty howl begins escaping her throat. She tilts her head back, pointing her muzzle to the sky to eject the howl from within her and launching it across the forest. 

A goofy wolf grin takes over her face. She knows the howl will reach the person she had intended it for. The blonde will hear it, even from this distance. 

Howling is something Lexa always does to alert the blonde on her where abouts when travelling to see her. Of course, she has to be in a close enough range to the vampire so her hearing and Lexa's ear piecing howls can be met so she is heard.

She opens her mouth and gently picks up the four corners she had moments earlier scrunched together in the middle making them an easy pick up for the wolf's mouth. 

Locking her powerful jaws together to avoid dropping and damaging her gift, she wastes no more time and kicks her powerful legs into action to start off the rest of her journey. Her legs do not stop, carrying her effortlessly through the woods. 

They balance her perfectly as she makes sharp and precise turns to dodge through, around and over trees along with anything else that may interrupt or slow her down. 

// 

Finally almost there she comes to a stop 10 minutes away from outside the castle walls. 

She gently drops her make shift pouch onto the floor and lets her tongue flop out her muzzle as she pants desperately. 

The trees had provided some cover from the suns unforgiving heat, but not having the ability to sweat in wolf form and unable to pant had caused her to heat up to a discomforting temperature. 

One final time for her trip to Clarke she shapes back to human.

Pulling off her bag and placing it on the floor she pulls out a simple white shirt and black jeans. 

It was useless to wear clothes when she knows she will be shifting from one form to another. The body structures of each were of two complete builds, this only caused for left over ripped and torn rags each time. 

Walking around naked was natural to wolves and what some preferred so this was of no issue for them to do so when in human form. 

Lexa however was not as comfortable with this. 

Having been born in a time where clothes were worn on a more regular basis due to visiting the vampire race, she was not as used to it as much as the older generation were. Not to mention the fact that when visiting the home of the Griffins, it was only respectful to abide by the same ways they lived day to day themselves in. 

So for this reason she always carry's her harnessed bag, the straps are made from a stretchy material allowing it to expand and mould to both her wolf and human physic. 

The straps themselves sank between her fur making them practically invisible. The bag itself was of pure black to blend in with Lexa's fur. Her thick, silky fur that was darker than the night sky itself. 

She is the only pure black wolf.

The only give away when out at night was her piercing forest green eyes, though when in wolf form a wolf's eyes will illuminate twice as bright. Lexa's looked even more brighter so though as the blackness of her fur contrasted her forest greens to a hypnotising degree. 

Luckily for hunting purposes though when hunting or fleeing a wolf's eyes can blacken out so as to not alert their prey or predator

Once fully clothed Lexa places her sash back around her neck and allows it to again drape over her. 

Red is the colour of her family. The colour of leaders. 

All the other wolves wore black sashes. 

She holds the vine in her hands for the rest of the way, allowing it all the sun it could absorb to give it back the glow the past fifty minutes of being contained in darkness may of sucked from it.

// 

So after having entered the gates here she stood. Just a love struck, love sick wolf, looking for the only person who has ever made her feel this way. 

She could already smell her, she had been able to for a while now. Taking another sniff, she begins to follow the scent into the building. 

Had she been a wolf at this moment in time she's pretty sure her black, bushy tail would be wagging from side to side. 

Ok. So maybe she does act like a cub sometimes. Those blazing blue eyes though. Who can blame her? 

The scent she's been following begins to grow stronger as she makes her way deeper into the castle. Her legs subconsciously begin to pick up pace. She only notices as she finds herself apologising to someone as she bumps into them. 

She doesn't take any time to turn her head to find out who. They will know who she is and why she is there - who she is here to see. She is certain they will understand her urgency and excitement. 

Her time and focus are only locked in on one person and one person alone. 

As she gets closer she feels something shift deep inside her. Her excitement suddenly replaces with something different, it causes her steps to temporarily slow in hesitation. She takes another hesitant step forward and stops.

Somethings wrong 

Clarke's scent, it's different. 

An involuntary whine escapes her throat as a panic disperses through her body. She starts moving again, picking up speed into a sprint. 

A very dark and callous force is emitting from the direction she's sprinting towards. It begins to make her feel sick.

Bile creeps up to the bottom of her throat as a smell she can't mistake hits her nostrils. 

Blood. 

Blood along with another smell Lexa is all too familiar with, her parents. 

She runs faster.

Please let this feeling be wrong. 

Lexa is hit with a thousand scenarios that what lies waiting for her. None of them good. 

She sucks in a breath 

Let them be ok. 

Not the people she has known since the moment she came into this world. 

Not the woman she hasn't even told she loves. 

Not her. 

A choke escapes her mouth at the thought. 

Please god not her. 

She pushes her legs faster as she sees the doors getting closer. A feeling of dread fills her body and drops to her stomach as she takes the last few steps. 

Lunging for the doors she doesn't slow down and collides straight into them. They burst open nearly coming off the hinges as she tumbles in.

Her heart stops

A high pitched shriek rings through her ears as shock takes over her body. The blood pumping through her veins stills as she feels everything start to shut down inside of her. 

This can't be, what is this? 

The gift that had resulted in her not being here falls from her hand. 

Her body soon follows as every muscle in her body fails her at once. Her legs give out below her and she begins falling to the floor, only stopping when the concrete floor collides with her knees. 

The sickness that's been lumbered in her throat begins to seep its way to her mouth. The bile burns her mouth as she heaves and ejects the contents from her mouth on to the floor before her. 

She struggles lifting her head to take in the scene around her. The room dishevelled, broken chairs and smashed ornaments splayed out over the floor. There was no doubt in her mind a brutal struggle had recently taken place in the room. 

The most obvious signs being her parents and girlfriend’s bodies scattered over the floor. 

Her throat starts to tighten causing her to suck in deep breaths as she feels her lungs begin to empty of all air. Deep breaths change to short desperate ones that hit the back of her throat as it closes off completely leaving her breathless. 

Lexa’s breaths only become more desperate as she feels her lungs begin to collapse from being starved far too long of oxygen. She’s almost certain she’s moments away from suffocation when she suddenly feels her throat open up again allowing her to finally gasp in mouthfuls of air. 

Once her breathing calms, Lexa looks over to where her father’s body lies mangled in the far corner of the room against the wall. A large dip in the wall takes residence above him from where his body has been thrown against it, landing in a mangled mess to where he now lies. Blood covers his once proud face and Lexa knows she will never picture it the same again. 

Her eyes close tightly as a tear escapes down her face. She turns her head to look down at her mother’s face, her eyes looking right back at her. Lexa almost wishes she were naïve enough to believe those eyes still hold life in them. But she wasn’t, and she knew all too well her mother was dead. 

The eyes that were always so soft and protective towards her now penetrating Lexa's own with nothing, but lifelessness and fear and Lexa knows she will never be able to picture them the same again. 

She feels her throat burn up again as another surge of vomit rushes up her throat and into her mouth. She heaves forwards and retches up what little she has left in her stomach. 

She finishes being sick and it’s only as she looks up again and locks her eyes on the blonde who’s back is towards Lexa, does she realise there’s movement from it. 

"Cl, Clarke" she only manages to choke the word out quietly. Her throat and mouth dry and raw from being sick. 

No reply comes but this doesn’t surprise her, had she not of felt her lips moving she would have questioned to herself that she had even spoke at all. Even her own ears struggle to pick up the sound of her broken voice that leaves her lips. 

Lexa is hit with a rush of adrenaline at seeing movement from the body of her girlfriend. She gets to her feet and clamps her teeth together as every muscle in her body fights the action and begs for her to get back down. 

Once up right her legs began to shake beneath her, but she ignores them and with a sweat covered brow she places one unsteady foot in-front of the other. Her whole body begins to scream at her to not get any closure to the blonde as she senses something isn’t right with her. 

“Clarke?” She calls again to try for a response from the blonde. 

When there’s no reply Lexa’s instincts give her another warning to not get any closer. She ignores it, she is clearly not in any right mind for her body to think clearly right now. Of course, she is going to feel uneasy, but there is nowhere the woman she loves is a reason to be of cause to it. 

Once in arm’s length Lexa allows the internal struggle to bring her to her knees again as her muscles give way for a second time that day. 

She stretches an arm out to place on the blonde’s shoulder when suddenly what she sees causes it to freeze. Eyes widen in recognition and a wave of confusion and anger shortly follow. 

Clarke wasn't injured, she was feeding. 

Lexa lets out a deep growl as she watches the vampires throat bob as she greedily drinks from the wolf’s body. The growl breaks the silence that had previously filled the air and it appears to be this that finally gets the attention of the blonde. 

Razor sharp fangs rip away from the neck of Lexa's mom as the blonde turns her attention to Lexa. Blood that isn’t her own flows down from the corners of her lips, she doesn’t bother to wipe it away. Her attention now only on the brunette who disturbed her. 

The growl still coming from Lexa's lips involuntarily turns into a broken whimper as her eyes catch Clarkes. The eyes usually as blue as the sky on a cloudless day. The eyes that she had found safety in and had once looked to her with love. The eyes she had come to call home. 

They were gone. Replaced with deep, dark, black pools of abyss, they burned right into Lexa’s with nothing more than pure looks of hunger and savageness. 

Lexa is suddenly faced with an instinctive want to submit to Clark who was now emitting a strong sense of want from her. She feels as her head ever so slightly leans to the left exposing her neck to the vampire. 

Vampires powerful enough can manipulate and control another’s mind through compulsion. Having a strong blood line Lexa is sure she would usually be strong enough to fight this with ease. Clarke had clearly been feeding on her mother’s blood though and she wasn’t sure how much or if she’d also had chance to drain her father as well. 

Either way she knew Clarke would undoubtedly be at more strength than usual now. It wasn’t helping that Lexa couldn’t focus at all either, her mind clouded by the woman in front of her who's eyes were still showing an undeniable want for her. She was out for blood and Lexa was still stood presenting her neck to the vampire but unable to do anything about it. 

As if confirming what Lexa already knew Clarke opens her mouth displaying her skin piercing teeth in a display of power. A merciless hiss breaks the temporary hold that had taken over Lexa, allowing her to roll backwards just in time to avoid the teeth that snap shut in the area her neck had just occupied. 

"Clarke why are you doing this?" Lexa asks with a desperation evident in her voice. 

Again the vampire gives her no notice and instead lunges for Lexa, the speed in which she moves takes Lexa by surprise long enough for the vampire to be tackle her to the floor pinning her down in the process. 

She is well educated and all too aware of the speed in which vampires possess, but she was still slightly dazed from the hold Clarke had her in. 

Clarke makes a sudden move towards Lexa’s throat and Lexa only manages to throw her arm up to grasp her hand around the Vampires neck to halt her movements. Her nostrils fill with the smell of her mom’s blood as the vampire frantically hisses with mouth wide above her. 

She takes another look to the blonde now on top of her evidentially trying to kill her and she suddenly feels like she’s suffocating again. 

If she closes her eyes maybe she’ll wake up in her bed and the bodies on the floor will be tucked up safely in their own too. Even better maybe she did see Clarke this morning and will wake up in hers. 

Her eyes close. 

She pictures what she knows must have happened. She told the blonde how she was in love with her and Clarke had confessed the same. They spent their day in the gardens and eventually both called it a night retiring to bed. There Clarke had called her a cute little cub – Lexa had frowned, and Clarke had placed a wet kiss on her nose. They climbed into bed and Clarke held the brunette while she slept. 

She feels the vampire above her grabbing at her arm to remove it from her neck, but she doesn’t open her eyes 

Any moment now she will wake up and this will be nothing more than a bad dream, and in the morning Clarke will wake up safely beside her. She will kiss away every worry Lexa wakes up with after having such a bad dream. 

A sharp pain suddenly overtakes its way from Lexa’s cheek to above her eye. She smiles. 

There’s no way the woman she loves would ever hurt her or her family this way. She will tell Lexa so herself when she wakes up. She will laugh at Lexa for even dreaming such a ridiculous scenario and tell her how she will only ever protect and love the wolf. Lexa will feel stupid as a happy tear runs down her cheek, because Clarke loves her like she never knew possible. 

Lexa’s suddenly snapped back to reality as her hand is knocked out from underneath the vampires throat. She manages to open her eyes just in time to know to throw her hands up to the vampire’s chest hating her advances centimetres away from her destination. She only just manages to snake one hand up just under Clarkes chin to push her teeth away from her neck. 

The happy tear she thought she felt running down her face seconds earlier she now realises is blood seeping through a wound she feels on her face. 

Anger suddenly takes over her. How could she be so stupid? She was weak to allow herself to be put in such a vulnerable position beneath this monster who wanted her dead. This person isn’t the woman she thought loved her and she was pathetic for lying on her back trying to imagine otherwise. 

Her body begins to ache and pull as she feels the wolf within her fighting to surface. She can't allow it, not right now. Losing the form of her human hands will release the grip she has under Clarke's chin. This was the only thing keeping her blood from being drained from her body. 

She knows the vampire will only have a few seconds time frame in which to take what blood she could before Lexa's body morphs making her skin and fur too thick for the blond to continue her blood sucking from. 

She also knows however a Wolfs blood had been known to be extremely powerful for vampires to drink, it is after all what the war had been about all those years ago. Clarke was clearly already stronger than usual because of it and she was in no state to risk the blond taking more. 

She just hoped the anger continued to get the best of the vampire causing her movements to be sloppy and unconcentrated. If not, she wasn’t too sure she was getting out of this alive 

As if on cue the blonde makes another desperate lunge forward and pushes against Lexa’s hand. She even manages to lower her head closer to the wolf’s neck. At this proximity the vampire is almost certainly going to be able to take a few mouth fulls of her blood before she’s able to morph. 

She needs to concentrate. 

A snarl rips through the brunette’s throat as the wolf pushes further against her to demand take over, she knows at this rate she won’t last without it. She’s too emotional right now in human form, she’s being careless and hesitant. 

She needs the Wolf to do what she can't. Unsure of if it will work or not Lexa only has one option. She pushes down all her inner energy to her legs. A slight feeling of relief washes over her as she feels the jeans begin to restrict against her legs as they bulge where her muscles grow. The seams are no longer able to cope with the pressure and tear open allowing her legs to grow to their full size. 

Lexa knows she only has seconds to act as she feels the rest of her transformation quickly working up her body. With no time to spare she kicks out her powerful hind legs ensuring she sinks her claws into the vampire’s stomach to inflict maximum damage. She watches as the blonde launches across the room. 

By time the blond stands to her feet and turns back around she is faced with the completely morphed black wolf. Lexa's thin lips curl over as she bares her teeth and snarls at the vampire, torn clothes lay beneath her thick paws leaving only her bag and robe attached to her. 

She doesn’t wait for the vampire to make the first move and charges towards her. She sees the woman start to run towards her and raise her hand ready to attack. Lexa makes a dodge to the right at the last second to avoid the attack. She then turns back on herself and sinks her teeth into Clarke's leg sweeping it out from under her. 

Lexa hears the vampires head collide with the floor, but she doesn’t allow her any time to recover and releases her hold before sinking her teeth into the blonde’s arm. Lexa clamps her jaw together and gives it a harsh yank. She feels the vibration against her teeth as the arm she has hold of dislocates only confirmed as a loud pop shortly follow. 

A pain staking hiss comes from the vampire, but Lexa doesn’t let up on her attack. She needs to take down the blonde and do it fast before she has any chance to gain the upper hand again. 

She waits 

She watches the vampire get to her feet and continues to watch as the blond faces her and throws her hands up stepping towards Lexa for another attack. 

Now. 

Lexa puts her weight on to her front legs and picks her back ones up into the air as she pivots her body so her back legs are now facing the blond. The moment she feels Clarke’s chest against the pads of her paws, she thrashes her legs out and kicks against the blonde with every bit of strength she has. 

The vampire only realises at the last minute what the wolfs plan is and hopelessly grabs hold of the brunette’s sash to avoid what was surly to come. It fails and as expected the attack sends Clarke vaulting across the room and into the wall behind her. 

Lexa whines ever so slightly as the vampire’s head smashes against the wall at a speed that would have undoubtedly killed any normal person. For Clarke however, it does the job Lexa had intended it to do. She watches as the woman she was supposed to be confessing her love for at this very moment, crumbles to an unconscious mess on the floor. 

Lexa's robe settles over the vampire’s legs as her hand still hold it in their grasp. 

Without the fear of being killed or having those cold, heart shattering, hungry black eyes looking into hers, Lexa allows a whimper to begin emulating within her. It grows louder until she breaks out into a pain filled wretched howl. 

Her howl is halted someway through as she hears people enter the room. She looks over to see the Griffins head guard and family friend. 

"What did you do?" The guard is seething as he raises and unsheathes his sword shortly followed by his men. 

Lexa looks to him with confusion before realising how it must look around her, after all, she was now the only one standing. She backs up preparing for the vampires to charge her. She bares her teeth to let them know she will go down fighting. 

"Get me Abby and Jake immediately" He orders. 

Lexa hunches her shoulders and lowers her head to the ground, her teeth still bared as she made it clear she’s ready when they are. She doesn’t want to hurt these people as they are not responsible for the bloodshed that has unfolded in this room. 

But nor will she be held responsible for the death of her own parents, or for the state of the vampire still unconscious on the floor due to the actions of her own self defence. 

Lexa only knows she’s leaving this castle one way or another, it does not matter how. She needs to get home to her pack, they need to know what has become of their alpha and omega. She needs to lead, and then someone will be held responsible and someone will pay the price. 

If anyone stands in her way, she will bring war. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to see some Raven and a bit more lexa in the current time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, 
> 
> Sorry it's been so long I have selfishly been reading fanfics and getting lost in them . That plus working. 
> 
> I have got round to updating though and will try my best not to leave you hanging for so long next time. 
> 
> Octavia will make an appearance soon and we will get more into Clarke soon also. 
> 
> Just bear with me and we will get there. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes :)
> 
> Much love to those taking the time to read

Chapter 3

Raven’s been on watch duty for a few hours now. It was so pointless, she knew this and so did everyone else. Nothing would happen, it never had this close to their home. 

The wolves may be more powerful than they were, but this did not make them stupid. Even they would know what a great number of loses they would take trying to infiltrate the walls. 

It was knowing this that made guard duty excruciatingly mind dulling. she understands they can’t just leave the walls un attended, no matter how confident they were the wolves wouldn’t attack. 

But must they really put her on watch? – did they not know all the things she’s capable of, she’s Raven fucking Reyes and she’s a god damn genius. 

Before Clarke had sired her, she had been an engineer and there was nothing she couldn’t make, fix or most importantly blow up. 

The only problem being that they’re situated far from any human civilisation in fear of being discovered or attacked. This of course meant there was next to no need for anything she specialised in. Sad face. 

So here she is, the next potential female version Albert Einstein, scrap that she’s damn better than any known genius - watching nothing but grass, trees and leaves. 

Perhaps today will be more exciting, maybe she will see some sort of bionic bunny start hopping towards the walls, before blowing up and spurting all sorts of mechanical goodness everywhere. This would keep her inner mech nerd entertained for hours. All the things she could make. 

She could make traps to capture more bionic bunnies, then after capturing enough of those she’d have enough parts to make a car. With a car she could travel to set up traps further out to catch even more bunnies, and then she could ... 

A familiar smell suddenly stops Ravens train of thoughts wondering off again – yes again, how else is a girl supposed to get through the day? 

She looks up to where she knows the owner of the scent will be and sure enough there she is. Her sire, her best friend, Clarke. A frown takes over her face as she watches Clarkes emotionless face looking out beyond the wall like she spends nearly every day doing. 

“Pining isn’t a good look for you” 

An eye roll proceeds on Ravens face as she turns to face the guy who though it seemed to be a great time to conversate with her. Just when she thought the day couldn’t get any worse 

“Fuck off Finn before I throw you over the wall and feed your ass to the wolves” 

Finn only smirks in return to her comment. This causes a second eye roll from Raven, guy has had a thing for Raven for years and has the audacity to honestly believe his smug ass fucking face appeals to her. 

“I’m just saying” He continues “She’s never going to see you, not the way I do” He puffs his chest out in a failed attempt to impress the woman before him. 

“Thanks” She says whilst fluttering her lashes sarcastically before poking his stomach causing his chest to deflate. “But now the only thing you’ve made me want to do is feed my own fucking ass to the wolves. I’m sure feeling their mongrel canines ripping my throat out will feel better than what I’m currently feeling right now - having to endure your overly inflated egotistically cock sucking presence” 

She feels like she should feel bad and that she may have gone a little overboard today, after all the guy was only trying his luck to impress his mates who are currently sniggering at him. But she doesn’t feel bad at all, the guy’s an absolute douche and has done nothing but throw lines at her for years. 

But now as she sits here waiting for bionic bunnies come to rescue her from boredom whilst she pines for the biggest loss she has ever felt is not the time. 

She already knows though that no matter how much Finn likes her. After being humiliated in front of his friends the way she just has. He’ll make a scene to help mend his damaged ego. 

Sure enough his eyes darken, and his features tighten as his eyebrows crease in anger. “You stupid bitch, do you know how pathetic you are?” He looks up to where she had been looking when he walked over and sees Clarke in the window. 

“You go to her every night and for what? She doesn’t even see you anymore, she never will do.” He lets out a smug huff and Raven squeezes her fist into a tight ball. “You honestly think there are people just waiting to line up and be with you? You have been rejected and disowned by your own sire and you believe beyond me there is anyone else who would want your abandoned ass, you are nothing to her and….” 

The sentence is cut short as Ravens fist slams into the side of Finns nose, a popping crunch follows as blood begins to seep from his nostrils. 

Raven is furious. 

Frozen by shock Finn doesn’t even have a moment to react as Raven Sinks her fangs straight into his shoulder and rips off a chunk of flesh. This emits a choice of swear words from Finns mouth. 

Raven feels a boot press against her chest before her body suddenly lifts off the floor as she is kicked back a few feet. The winds knocked out of her as she crashes to the ground, landing on her back and sliding back a foot or so across the dried mud. 

“You crazy bitch!” 

Raven smirks at this. Yes. Yes, she is. 

Finn becomes furious and stomps towards Raven as she stands to her feet. She raises her arms up clenching her fists as she does so. An excuse to kick Finns ass had been a long time coming. 

Both are stopped leaving Raven with a feeling of disappointment as they find themselves held back by the people around them. 

“What’s going on ?!” Everyone stills as Bellamy pushes his way through the crowd. 

Raven watches as Finn and all those around her get to their knees to bow for Bellamy. Still feeling too enraged from his smug ass face and comments he’d made, Raven can’t control herself from wanting to kick the shit out of him. 

She chooses not to bend the knee but instead proceeds to walk to him. The four men who had first restrained her quickly rise to their feet again and take hold of her arms whilst creating a wall between her and Finn. 

Bellamy stops as he gets to the cause of the commotion and looks between a kneeled Finn with blood over his face and top and a raging Raven who is still showing some resistance to those holding her back. 

“What happened here?” Displeasure is evident on every word he says through gritted teeth. The tone doesn’t faze Raven the way it seems to those around her. 

“Bitch went fucking crazy sir, I only told her to get back to her post as she was failing to keep a look out – too busy watching Clarke from her window” Finn inwardly smirked, he knew this version would only anger Bellamy more. 

He was one of Bellamy’s main guards so knew more than most when it came to their leader, including how Bellamy already hated how much interest Raven still showed in Clarke. 

Bellamy’s face drops to an even more serious expression as he walks to stand in front of Raven, the men holding her let go and drop to their knees. “Is this true?” 

Raven knows there’s no point in saying Finn asked for it, Bellamy had already made his mind up who’s side he was on the moment he saw she was involved. She knows he’s simply trying to make it look to the crowd that he is giving Raven a fair chance to say her side. 

Well if she’s going to get punished may as well make it worth it. 

“What can I say” She smiles “The view is much more satisfying than out there”. 

A fist connects with her face; the force jerks her head to the side violently and knocks her to the ground. 

The taste of copper fills her mouth causing her to spit out a mouth full of saliva and blood on to the dirt floor. She wipes away at the blood dripping from her mouth. It smears over her cheeks, but she does not care to clean it off. 

Instead she turns her head to look at Bellamy and gives him a feral grin. Even she knows how crazed she must look right now, she feels the blood still coming from her mouth and can taste it coating her teeth. 

She knows she is only encouraging her punishment, just like she knows full well that Bellamy will make out her punishment is for taking her eyes off the wall on guard duty. But Raven knows better and therefore she grins. The real reason he’s pissed is simple - jealousy. 

His jaw stiffens as he gives her a hard look 

Raven doesn’t let up her grin, she wills him to lose control. She wants everybody to see him for what she knows he is. Come on, lose it. 

Bellamy looks up to Clarke and takes a deep breath. Raven knows he’s managed to regain her composure and allows the grin to drop from her face. “Lock her up”. 

He turns to the crowd as Raven is lifted to her feet. “We cannot afford to have such carelessness at our defence walls. We are at war people if I catch anyone else acting with such disregard to their duty’s there will be severe consequences. Do I make myself clear ?!” 

The crowd erupts with countless ‘Yes sir’s’ as they all bow their heads deeper. 

As Raven is dragged away she takes one last look up to Clarke who all but looks at her for a second with disinterest before flicking her eyes back to beyond the wall. 

It’s now, with her hands held behind her back and her mouth seeping with blood that she truly realises the answer to question she had asked the Blonde. No – Clarke won’t and never will care if she never does come back. 

The one person she’s willing to die for is the same one who couldn’t care less if she did or not. Any fight she currently has in her evaporates within her as she gives the last bit of resistance. Her head sinks towards the floor and she falls limp, allowing the guards to drag her off in silence. Clarke really was gone. 

Bellamy takes hold of Finn and pulls him away from prying ears. “This infatuation with her, it stops now. I don’t want another incident like this. Do I make myself clear?” 

Finn nods and bows his head. “Yes Sir, I’m sorry” 

Bellamy gives a stiff nod before walking away back into the building. But not before letting his eyes trail back up to the blonde - who will one day be his. 

//

Raven let’s out a grunt as the air is knocked from her lungs by the cold concrete slamming into her stomach as the guards dispose of her on the cell floor. 

“Honey I’m home” she gasps through thirsty breaths into the empty space around her. 

.

Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the darkness as she looks around. 

Has her surroundings finally came into view he let out an amused puff of air. The room is empty with nothing but a basic metal toilet in it. Still worth the reaction she evoked from Bellamy and defiantly worth the long time coming punch to the face she finally landed on Finn. 

The castle holds many cells, mostly due to being first build when vampires and wolves were at war. If not to hold vampires who had committed crimes the rooms would be used to hold wolves captured for questioning, even tortured should it have been necessary. 

The number of steps she had descended, Raven guesses she’s been placed in one of the lowest underground cells where the tortured were kept so their screams would disturb people as little as possible. 

She briefly wonders to herself if that is what is instore for her before quickly dismissing it. Not even Bellamy would let his jealousy allow him to make such decisions. There are still many who respect Raven who would not allow for such unnecessary treatment of her without causing an up roar of questioning. 

She lifts to her hands and knees and crawls to a nearby corner propping herself up against it before surveying the room from another angle. It doesn’t look any better. Stone walls, stone floor, stone ceiling and a small patch of dried dirt next to her. 

A deep sigh comes from her throat as she leans her head back against the wall. “Maybe grass and trees weren’t such a bad view after all” 

Still worth it though. 

//

Lexa sits at the table looking over the map, the same map she had been looking over for 10 years now. Every plan she has come up with to attack the vampires has resulted in too many deaths. She’s certain that casualties are inevitable but not to the extent of what they’d be should they infiltrate the castle walls. 

The Vampires and wolves have been at a stale mate for 10 years now, both sides knowing a full-on attack to the opposite side would be suicide. 

The vampires have their walls in place which would cost too many lives trying to break over, and if they managed to make it over there would surely be too few left to carry out an effective attack. The wolves don’t have such walls for protection, their home was however in the mountains spread out between caves, shelters and other means of buildings. 

With their high sense of smell they can easily smell anything that’s not the usual smells of the mountains long before the vampires were to reach them. Not to mention it was no secret one wolf alone is capable of taking down 3 to 4 vampires. 

Wolves also know all areas of the mountains like the back of their hands, or paws – which every they were shifted in at the time. This would allow them to set up an attack from all directions. 

There had been small battles and a few deaths along the years whilst out hunting when the two species had crossed paths, but nothing to make even a minor dent in numbers. So, for ten years neither side had made a move and instead waiting for the other to become impatient and make a sloppy move against the other. 

Lexa knows it won’t be her. She will never allow her impatience to ruin her chances or endanger her people. After 10 years of waiting though she does no one thing. Something needs to happen, but what? 

A knock to the tent pole outside shifts her attention from the map. “Enter” 

She watches as her guard and dearest friend Gustus walks in. Gustus is by far the tallest and biggest built of her pack in human form, his long beard and facial tattoos only adding to his fearsome exterior. The smile he walks in with falters slightly as he looks down to where her maps lay out again. 

“Heda, please you must rest” He says gently looking at the usual dark patches that always seem to occupy the space beneath her eyes. He hates to see what the past ten years have done to her. 

“How would you have me successfully carry out an effective attack if not in here strategizing Gustus?” Her words are spoke with nothing more than her usual monotone voice. 

“With all due respect Heda they are the same maps we have attempted to plan with for 10 years now, there is no part of that map we do not know, it is not the area that is our problem.” He places a hand gently on her shoulder. 

Not many get to be this way with Heda, not many get to question her the way Gustus does. But Gustus had been a dear guard to her parents and like an uncle to her. They shared a loyal and familiar bond, this had only grown stronger since her parents were taken from her. 

“I must do something” she says simply. 

“Rest first, I worry about you. I know you want justice we all do, but unless they make the first move, or something changes there is not much we can do for now” He gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze with the hand he still has placed on it. 

“Though I know you are concerned and though I appreciate your loyalty and friendship to me Gustus, I cannot rest until my parents are avenged and my people are safe.” She removes his hand from her shoulder before placing her hands back on the table to lean over it. 

“I also know you did not come in here to check if I was resting or not so would you care to fill me in to the why’s you are here?” 

He sighs in defeat and walks around to the other side of the table so he can face her. 

“Xen did not return from his hunting trip yesterday” His face becomes much sterner at the subject change. 

“Why am I only just being informed now?” A hint of annoyance laces her voice. 

At her tone he looks down, questioning if it had been the best decision after all. “Forgive me Heda but I knew it was something I could take care of without disturbing you” 

“If my people are in danger it is something I as Heda am to be made aware of immediately, it is not a question of if it can be handled with or without me. I am Heda and I am responsible for the safety of all our people, this is not to happen again” She looks him in the eyes to make it clear that this is an order. 

Regardless of their close friendship Gustus knows he doesn’t have complete immunity to the wrath of their Heda. He knows this time he’d slightly overstepped the mark in keeping this from her and seeing to it himself. 

“I’m sorry, I did not wish to disturb you at a moment I knew you were finally resting” He drops to his knee in forgiveness. 

Even dropped to one knee Gustus’s height nearly exceeds that of Lexa’s. 

She dismisses him to a stand with a wave of her hand as all emotion dissipates from her voice as she speaks again. “Was a search party sent?”. 

She knows he didn’t do this to go against her, he cared for her greatly that much was evident. But after losing her parents, any potential lose is one far too many for her and to not be involved with her people’s wellbeing at such a critical time is something she highly disapproves of. 

“Yes, Echo, Niylah and Roan all returned.” He pauses “There has been no body retrieved” 

“Damn it!” Lexa slams her hand to the table rocking it back and forth for a moment before settling back to stillness. She ignores the minor throb in her hand. 

Those words alone had told Lexa all she needed to know on what had happened to Xen. 

Vampires were not the only enemy they have. 

The first-time wolves and vampires had joined together in peace was because they had one common enemy. Joining together had not meant they were able to go against said enemy, but it did mean that neither species suffered losses from each other and could if necessary assist each other. It also meant they could distribute the food evenly so neither side struggled to feed their people. 

Now that they are once again at war, it meant both sides now had 2 enemies again and Xen had just become another victim to their second one - the mountain men. 

“His family?” Lexa asks. She knows every one of her pack personally including every name and occupants of the family’s she’s responsible for. Xen had a wife and son. 

“I came to you first Heda, I knew you’d want to be the one to break the news to them” He bows his head gently and walks out the tent knowing there is nothing more for him to do here. His Heda would take it from here. 

As when every family loses a loved one Lexa chooses to be the one to break the news. Although she knows most of the pack look out and care for one another, she doesn’t want the news delivered by someone who may not know how losing someone dear can affect you. 

She knows all too well what losing the ones you love can do to you and how the moment you find out changes everything. 

She knows how it feels to lose her parents to murder. 

She knows what it feels like to lose the woman you love to darkness. 

She knows how it feels to live every second of her life after that moment, re-living it over and over again every night you close your eyes to sleep. 

She also knows how holding on to the idea of one day getting justice of those who have caused the grief can keep you going and get you out of bed every morning. 

So this therefore is why she’ll break the news herself. It helps being the Alpha in these situations. Alphas emit a variety of pheromones that can influence and control the rest of the pack who are powerless to fight against it. This is after all what made her an Alpha, what made her Heda is how powerful that influence truly is and that it goes beyond the control of her own pack. 

When Lexa breaks the news to Xen’s family she knows her body will radiate a pheromone of comfort. Though this will of course not take away the grief of his family’s loss, she knows the comfort is what they will need to know they are not alone. 

Not like she is. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke stands at her window some more. (She loves that window)
> 
> Raven get's bored.
> 
> Lexa goes hunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys this one is only a short one but I though anything is better than nothing. 
> 
> I know nothing major is happening right now but it's hard to do much with Clarke right now, it's kind of more about the things going on around her at the moment. 
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment to let me know what you think. 
> 
> I have a really busy week next week including getting my new Lexa tattoo but I will try to update when I can.
> 
> If there is anything in particular you would like to see more of on the next chapter let me know and I will see what I can do :)

Chapter 4

Bellamy makes his way to Clarke’s room with a blood pouch in hand. This had been the routine he had done every night to ensure Clarke drank. He stops at her door and gives a gentle knock, he doesn’t wait for a response he knows won’t come before he enters though. 

The blonde is stood at her usual spot by the window looking out, he walks over to her and places the pouch in her hand as she turns to look at him. Little words are ever usually spoken between them and he usually leaves as soon as Clarke has finished drinking. 

Today however, once Clarke finishes the pouch and hands it back to him he finds himself joining her in front of the window. 

After a few moments of silence an almighty howl comes from outside as it usually does around this time, this causes the same smile he gets every time he hears it creep on to his face. He knows exactly who that howl belongs to, as does he know all too well exactly when those howls first begun and why. 

They belong to the only one who had ever had Clarke’s heart, the mongrel who didn’t deserve the way he knew Clarke used to look at her. The love he saw in Clarke’s eyes when she looked at Lexa – it sickened him. 

He surprises himself as he finds his hand placing itself over hers, giving it a desperate squeeze. Clarke turns her head slightly to look at his hand atop of hers for a moment before looking back out the window. 

“I know this doesn’t mean much to you right now Clarke, but I care so much about you.” He pauses to look at the blank expression that still covers her face. He contemplates for a second as to if he should carry on or not. 

But he wants to say the words out loud, so he carries on. 

“I will do anything I can to ensure that bitch gets all that’s coming so you can come back to us. Then I can show you what it feels like to be truly happy.” The words come like venom off his tongue at the slight mention of Lexa. 

He knows he shouldn’t be going into this with Clarke, for starters he knows his words have no effect on her, he also knows not to take the risk in potentially triggering anything in the blonde’s current emotional state. The incident with Raven earlier though had set off a jealousy within him that he could barely control when it came to Clarke. 

He knows the bond in which Raven holds for Clarke is perfectly normal for that of a vampire who had been sired, but even that bond was more than Clarke had ever shared with him. 

His face darkens. He will not stand by and allow Raven to jeopardise what he knows will one-day lead to Clarke being his. 

He is the only one who deserves to feel her love, the only one who will go to any length to win her heart. The one who will bow before her, presenting her the live body of the Alpha wolf so Clarke can finally put an end to the mongrels’ life and know – just how much he loves her and how much he would do to make her happy. 

He looks forward to the day he gets to watch the life drain from the wolf’s eyes. The look on her face as the one she once loved takes her life. He’s been patient so far and he will continue to do so, he’d wait forever when it came to the woman next to him. 

//

Clarke isn’t sure at what point Bellamy had left the room, she only ever acknowledged him enough to drink so he would leave. 

“She must have really pissed Bellamy off, he’s had her thrown into the lower cells.” 

Clarke looks down to see what she assumes are the next guards to take up watch duty. 

“What do you expect? she made a scene in front of everyone, she didn’t even bow to Bellamy, if he allows anyone who shows such disrespect to him to go unpunished he will lose order.” 

Clarke knows the men as Thelonious and Wells. They’re father and son; her parents had been close friends with Thelonious. She remembers a time she had once been friends with Wells, though like everyone else she used to know - the day she woke up after the attack she became to feel next to nothing for any of them. 

“How long do you think he will leave her there?” Wells asks looking to his father. 

“I don’t know, she’s lucky she isn’t dead though” Replies Thelonious matter of-factly. 

“Why isn’t she then?” 

“Because of what Raven did for Clarke” Thelonious doesn’t go into the incident knowing his son is all too aware of what had happened. “In payment Raven became the only person to be turned not just by Clarke but by anyone of us in a long time. She was very important to the Griffin family for what she did, and all those who still hold Abbey and Jake dearly in their hearts are still grateful to Raven and have great respect for her. 

“With Clarke the way she is, and Jake and Abbey gone, it’s like Raven is also all that’s left of them.” He looks at his son. “That and if Clarke ever becomes herself again she will be less than pleased that Bellamy has killed one of the people she cares most for” 

Wells nods his head in understanding and they carry on walking in silence. 

As she watches them take their stations she turns and walks over to her bed. She doesn’t stop to get under the blanket, she never does, instead she lays looking blankly at the ceiling. 

What Thelonious had said was right. Raven had meant so much to her before, she hasn’t forgotten what she had done for her. The gratitude and love she had for the woman however just wasn’t there anymore – but why? 

Why did she no longer feel what she used to? Why when she thought of her parents did she not cry? Why when she thought of Lexa could she only express to the extent of clenching her fist with no real anger behind it? Why when Raven visits her and pleads for Clarke to care can she only look at the woman with nothing more than a simple acknowledgment? 

She has sworn to herself many times she will kill Lexa for the murder of her parents, but they’re nothing more than words. She doesn’t feel a rage burn inside her that makes her swear for revenge, she says it simply because she knows that’s how she should feel. 

Just like she knows she should show more kindness and care towards Raven, she knows she should – but not a shred of her feels anything to do it. 

She has long accepted she will never be able to answer the question of why she doesn’t feel, but she still occasionally wonders anyway. 

Maybe she’d feel more anger if she ever come to know the face of the woman who caused all this. Maybe if she just knew what the wolf Lexa looked like, she could etch her face and burn it into memory till she was all the blonde could see. Maybe then she’d feel more than the nothing she has become so acquainted with. 

// 

Raven huffed and dragged her nail through the dry dirt beside her. This was bullshit, Bellamy was a huge asshole and Finn was a slightly smaller one, in fact Bellamy and all his guards just made up a whole group of different size assholes. Each one of them spreading out all sorts of bullshit from their mouths. 

“Can a poor, sweet, innocent girl at least get something to sleep on?” Raven shouts knowing already she will not get a response. 

She stands up and walks to the door where she begins kicking her boot covered foot against it a few times. She only stops when her toes become uncomfortable as they squash more together against the end of her boot with every kick. 

“If anyone’s out there, I’m warning you now it’s in your best interest to provide me with something I can get a decent sleep on. If I don’t sleep well I get grouchy, and when I’m grouchy I get very annoying.” She presses her ear against the door to listen out for any movement but hears nothing. 

“I don’t mean the annoying where I keep poking you in the arm to get your attention, I mean the annoying where a sweet sweet symphony fills my lungs and escapes my mouth” she pauses. “and believe me you do not want to hear me sing” 

Raven is met with nothing but silence. 

“Fine!” She shouts, “Have it your way” She steps back from the door a few steps. 

Just as she is about to break into a song she is sure would bring an audience to tears she is interrupted by the smallest and quietest of giggles. Her head whips round to where she can see a small hand sized hole in the wall blocked off with metal bars. 

“Who’s there?” She asks as she begins to walk over. 

Raven quickly drops to her knees to peek inside the hole as she hears footsteps running off. She’s about to shout after them to let them know that their attempt to keep an eye on their prisoner without her knowing has just failed miserably. But she stops. 

Why would a guard giggle? If they wanted to keep an eye on her surely, they would open the hatch on the prison door to look in. She was almost certain that giggle had come from a woman. But if this person was not a guard – Who is she? 

// 

Lexa slows to a stop and lowers her snout closer to the floor. Dust enters her nostrils as she sucks in a lung full of air above the hooved print that is pressed into the mud. Satisfied she has the scent memorised enough to begin tracking it she lifts her head higher and sniffs the air around her. 

The trace of the smell is very weak; the animal had been long gone from this area. But that isn’t to say the distance it has travelled is too far for the Alpha to catch up. 

As she turns her head from one side to the other she is easily able to pinpoint in which direction the smell travels in. Her paws lift from the ground and she quickly picks up a running pace to gain as much distance in as little time as possible. 

Tonight, Lexa’s on the hunt. 

Hunting is the lambda’s wolf’s job and although Lexa has plenty of these to hunt, she needs this for herself. It’s the only time she can somewhat forget about everything else that weighs on her shoulders. 

She can forget she is Heda. 

Forget she is Alpha. 

Forget her parents were murdered 

Forget the only woman she’s ever loved was the one who did it 

She can forget it all for all she needs to do is rely on her hunting skills until what she seeks is in site and she can go for the kill. Sure, she gets away every night to go to the hilltop where she cries into the wind but that is anything but forgetting. 

Tonight she needed more so instead of going back to her pack after her usual nightly run to the mountain, she found herself turning off the trail home and wanting to hunt. 

So here she is, following the scent of the poor creature she will more than likely kill by the end of the night. Even with that in mind it had felt a while since she had felt slightly at ease 

// 

Lexa had been hunting for around 3 hours now. Two hours into her hunt she had picked up another scent that now had her hunting for another reason. 

_Ears had pointed to the sky in curiosity as what seemed like an oddly familiar yet strange smell at the same time hit her hunting trail. It was coming from the same direction as the doe she was tracking. The wolf steered her fury snout through the air quickly recognising it as the smell of a lone wolf she knew as Emori. Something was off though – there was something more._

_It only took her a few moments before an uneasy feeling settled into the pit of her stomach and her eyes narrowed in realisation as she began to walk again. The uneasy feeling wasn’t coming from the fact that someone else was now tracking her food nor was it that a wolf who had chosen to leave her pack being nearby._

_What’s unsettling Lexa was that she now realised why the scent was so familiar yet also unrecognisable. It’s something she hasn’t smelt for many years. A vampire._

As Lexa continued to track the doe, wolf and vampire she’d sure enough come across 2 sets of foot prints. Her lips curl back presenting her teeth as a growl escapes her throat. The foot prints told her what she had already expected. 

The two had not met and fought, she had smelt no blood or heard no signs of battle. No – this was a vampire and Wolf walking side by side, working together for their next meal. 

As her throat rumbles again another growl makes its way out. How dare one of her own work alongside … She pauses suddenly. 

This is exactly what she needs, she’s been waiting for something to come along and this may just be it. Her features soften as she turns back the way she came. There’s no need to continue the hunt now. The Doe, she would more than likely find already killed and eaten. She knew this the moment she had first picked up on the other wolf and vampire. 

The reason she had continued anyway was to find out why they were together. Any chances of finding the two were also very slim in chance. They would have smelled her just as she had smelt them, and there is no doubt in the wolf’s mind the two would know not to be caught and ensure they stayed well ahead of her. 

As she begins to run back she finds herself running with a new-found haste, perhaps this could work. 

Maybe she now has the thing she’s needed to get her the one thing she has wanted every night for the past 10 years. 

Powerful legs urge her on as she picks up her pace with every paw placed in front of the other. She can feel the rush spread through her body and she knows what she’s feeling is soon to happen. 

War is coming. 


End file.
